Pastoral Care

One of the main reasons people participate in faith communities is the love, support and friendship we find there. Those relationships often sustain us through some of life’s toughest challenges. But for people who make the decision to terminate a pregnancy, church might be the last place they can access support. 

Over the past five decades since the 1967 Abortion Act has been in force in Britain, over a thousand women travelled to England every year, totalling around 65,000 women and pregnant people. For over 50 years these folks have been quietly making that journey, with more in recent years having used abortion pills bought online in the privacy of their own homes. Most of them also have at least one family member or close friend who supported them. We attend your places of worship, break bread with you and we serve the community together. Abortion is not an issue that sits outside the church and it is only through maintaining a culture of silence and shame that we have allowed that myth to persist.

When faith leaders don’t talk about abortion or publicly support anti-choice campaigns, they might not feel like safe people for those who need emotional or spiritual help with reproductive choices. For this reason, many pastors have little to no experience of actually providing pastoral support to women and families with abortion experience. While many women and pregnant people report feeling relieved as the main emotion after an abortion and long term studies show that feelings of regret over the decision are extremely rare, it is a life experience that can bring up lots of difficult emotions. Internalised stigma from religious doctrine can play a part in making it difficult for people of faith, but in addition, letting go of a pregnancy can bring up the same feelings of grief that come with any type of pregnancy loss.

FVRJ members are committed to providing emotional and spiritual support to people with abortion experience or those facing difficult pregnancy choices and have taken the following actions:

• Training as peer listeners with Faith Aloud, a US based clergy-led listening service offering all-options pregnancy counselling to people who want to discuss their experiences through a faith lens.

• Partnering with the Faith and Mental Health Project and supporting the recommendations in their Call To Action such as the need for churches to provide unconditional welcome and acceptance. People with abortion experience can often feel that their inclusion in their faith community is dependent on them believing that they made a bad decision and need to repent. This has a detrimental impact on mental and emotional well-being and has driven many away from churches in Northern Ireland. 

• Partnering with Alliance for Choice’s abortion doula programme Lucht Cabhrach to offer faith based support to anyone using their service who wants to explore their abortion in light of their faith or religious beliefs. 

Image credit: Faith Aloud